We all know the saying, “If I had a dime…” well, true story because if I had a dime for every time I heard the following statements/questions – I’d be a rich bitch! I can tell you that I, a boudoir photographer, say the same shit ya’ll do – and I promise that whoever is photographing me gives me the reassurance that I need too. Just because I shoot this style of photography doesn’t mean I’m 100% comfortable in my skin. Truth is that by photographing women who I can relate to, it helps me with my own issues and insecurities. A boudoir session isn’t just a therapy session for you, it’s one for me as well – and I am thankful that you’ve chosen me as your therapist 🙂
So, lets knock out these misconceptions one by one…
- “I don’t photograph well.” – Who does? Unless you are an online influencer, a celebrity, a model, etc you likely cannot take a selfie to save your life. Did you know that most celeb’s/influencers have to sign an agreement that they won’t leave the house without makeup? That counts me out of that line of work, because I leave the house without make up on 99% of the time. It’s my job as the photographer to make sure you DO photograph well, not because I want you to buy the pictures, but because I want you to see yourself how I see you through my lens and how your loved ones see you.
- “I’m not a model.” – Good, because I very rarely photograph models and truth be told… I don’t know how to work with models the same way. Next…
- “I don’t know how to pose.” – Again, good, because it’s my responsibility to pose you from your head to your toes, and I will. I will literally tell you what to do with every part of your body. I will tell you if it doesn’t look right, and I will reposition you or I will reposition myself. If you look in the mirror and you practice posing it’s helpful but I likely won’t pose you the same way because I don’t see you the same way. When I’m in front of the camera, I have NO FLIPPIN IDEA how to pose myself. I’m like a deer in headlights, I rely solely on the photographers direction and I know how important it is that I give you every instruction I can.
- “I may not relax enough.” – I’ll tell you this is the case 0% of the time. I’m a complete nerd and goof ball when I photograph our clients, and by the time Staci is done with your makeup and hair (with or without the help of wine) you’ll already feel like a bombshell. 99% of my clients are walking around naked within the first 15 minutes. It’s an extremely private and relaxing experience, you will feel like you got a work out by the end of it but it feels DAMN GOOD to walk around naked with no f*cks to give at anyone seeing you naked (and by anyone, I mean me). In addition to posing your body, I even instruct you on what to do with your face. If you need to fix your face, I’ll tell you. Speaking of naked…
- “I don’t know if I can get naked.” – Girl. It’s okay! If you don’t want to do nudes, it’s okay! There’s no rule book that says you have to. Prior to your session you’ll get a questionnaire and we’ll cover everything I need to know to make your session special. Whether or not you are okay with being naked is part of that questionnaire. We also have a private dressing room for wardrobe changes – so being in the buff in front of me is not mandatory.
- “I’m too old.” – When I started boudoir back in 2008 most of my clients were brides to be in their early 20’s. Over the last 10 years there’s been a major shift, partly because I’ve grown as a creative, a woman, a mother. I focus on providing a safe environment for women to find their own confidence and beauty by using our studio as a medium. Our clients are typically between 35 and 55 years old, but we’ve had clients 20 years old and we’ve had clients 85 years old. Age is just a number, it’s not a state of mind and it doesn’t matter how old you are (as long as you’re legal lol). It shouldn’t be a factor in whether or not you do a session.
- “I need to drop some lb’s before I do this” – No, no you definitely do not have to. If you are on a mission to better your health and weight loss is part of that journey and you want to document your success, then sure wait until you hit your goal. But, if you look in the mirror and you aren’t happy with yourself – then you DO NOT need to wait to do this. You need to do it now, like right now. Depression and self doubt will only hinder your ability to make better lifestyle choices – so, if you use an empowering experience like boudoir to jump start the next chapter in life it WILL help you get there. Stop looking at yourself for what you could be or should be and start looking at yourself for who you are today and the battles you’ve conquered thus far.
- “My friends and family won’t understand.” – Maybe not, but they don’t have to know. We ask every client for the ability to share their images with potential clients, but if you are afraid that your friends and family will see the images… then you can say no! There is no extra fee for not giving us permission to use your images, in fact 10 years ago we rarely had anyone agree to allowing us the ability to use their images. Girlfriend, times have definitely changed because majority of our clients do give us a release. Our clients are proud to show off their images! It’s not arrogance to share your images, it’s honorable. People constantly post images of them at the gym, their muscle gains, weight loss gains, etc. Why not post image of your self confidence gains? How is that any more arrogant or conceited?
- “My (significant other) doesn’t like other people seeing me naked.” Don’t even get me started. It’s YOUR body. It truly is tragic if your lover can not appreciate and support your decision to feel better about yourself. I understand their reasoning, they’re protective, etc etc – but this is a private session and I’m a professional, not only a boudoir photographer but a full time emergency room registered nurse and I’ve seen people naked every day for nearly 15 years.
- “What am I going to do with the pictures?” – Umm… LOVE THEM!! You can have digital files, an album, wall art, or a number or other ways to remind yourself daily how amazing you are. No one has to see these images but you, if you choose that. These images, this experience, this is all for you. Having a shitty day? Pull the pictures up and feel better. Hubby going on travel? Send your album with him so he has you with him. Have a girlfriend that you feel could benefit from boudoir the way you did? Share your experience with her! Sometime you need moral support and someone close to you to tell you it’s OKAY to do this for yourself. You could be that person for someone else. See my last blog about ordering wall art here.
- “It’s expensive…”– Do you shop around for a bargain hair dresser, a cheap doctor, an inexpensive masseuse? Maybe you do, which is totally fine – I’m a bargain shopper too! I typically bargain shop when it comes to clothing, shoes, makeup, vacations, and much more. But, when it comes to a service I’m a little more appreciative of the cost. I know that it takes education, quality equipment, overhead, experience, and time to perfect a craft and I’m willing to pay extra to make sure I get what I pay for. I recently wrote a blog about choosing a boudoir photographer – you can read it here. Our products start at $300 and we offer payment plans so that we can appeal to all budgets.
Bottom line, you deserve to love yourself for who you are. Boudoir isn’t the end all be all, but it is a great start on that journey. We’re here for you if you need us. <3 <3
We wrote a blog about this over a year ago, but felt it was such an important topic that we readdress it and add new items in. Why Boudoir Is For Every Woman was our first blog on this topic.